Unsaid and Forgotten
by SocialTurtle
Summary: Some things are supposed to be left unsaid and forgotten. I didn't expect to be involved in nefarious plots with Jonathan Crane; it just sort of happened. He had always been alone, so I assumed that it would be a good idea to get to know him. Everyone needs friends, right? Prequel: where Jonathan is a high school senior, about to graduate. J. Crane/OC; Romance/ Humor/ Drama
1. Chapter 1: Starting Plan MTBFC

A/N: I don't own The Batman Movies or the Nolanverse. I've decided this story will read like a journal. Sarah will come back and report what she has found through her strange encounters with Jonathan.

Some things are supposed to be left unsaid and forgotten. Sometimes strange things happen that lead to an unexpected outcome. This is sort of the basis for life. I didn't expect to be involved in nefarious plots with Jonathan Crane; it just sort of happened. He had always been alone, so I assumed that it would be a good idea to get to know him. Everyone needs friends, right? High School is tough enough as it is; imagine going through your whole life without friends. That's what Jonathan did. He ignored everyone around him, and when the jocks would try to bully him, he would bypass their comments easily. I watched him for most of my life with confused fascination. I found him a sort of experiment in cultural forensics; where you study a culture, then classify the type of person in specific groups. I had classified many of my fellow classmates, but he seemed to not belong in one category. I had never wanted to approach him (I'll admit that he scared me), however on the first day of senior year, fate thought otherwise.

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September 11th , 2014

Senior year, for a lot of people, is said to be the end of torture. Never mind the fact that after that you are usually thrown headfirst into college. For me High School is easy but annoying; a lead-way into something that will really challenge me. Some people dread the idea of going to college, but I crave it. In college you are your own person and most of all the school system can't control you (for the most part). That's what I hate; the ACTs, SATs, ASSET, EOcs. They're tests that the school uses, not for the exact purpose of you, but for money from the state. Sometimes I think they just have them to make kids fail. However, I know that there are other tests in college. I'm well too versed in that fact; dual enrollment is another thing that makes me mad to no end. It's when you can get college classes while in high school. I could go on and on about what I hate about school, but I am not a person who typically rebels against the system. Today is the first day of senior year for me. I'm rambling because I don't want to go. Right now my mother is having a panic attack because I told her this.

"Why can't you just go to school?" My mother had said, "You're so close to being out of the proverbial 'hell hole.' I know that you hate it but that doesn't mean you are going to get out of it." And she just keeps on talking. She's trying to coax me out of my room.

I usually write to practice categorizing, because I want to be a forensic anthropologist one day. I know it's weird, but I am weird. Dead bodies and bugs isn't the ideal work place for most people, however I see it as a step into figuring out the unknown of the human world. It's more about discovering and studying different cultures. Right now it helps to write what I feel, but god this is NOT going to turn into one of those girly 'today I did" diaries.

But then again, I feel like I should just go get this day over with. Maybe do some math, kick some algebraic butt. I guess you can tell I'm a nerd. What am I doing? Nobody will ever see this.

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I went to school, expecting the worst, but surprisingly I had a very weird day.

In my school (probably like every other high school) the socials clubs are important. The jocks, the preps, the crazy mathletes, the nerds, etc. I happen to be in the middle of either the nerds or the preps; it's always been that way. The middle is like not choosing a side and I like being quite nice and neutral to each "squad." However, I don't always agree with the preps. They just go too far sometimes. Today they had been hardcore picking on Jonathan Crane, a fellow nerd. They do this all the time but today it was just enough for me.

"Stop it you guys," I screamed at them, "There's no need to pick on him, considering he never fights for back." The leader of the group, Brian McCalister, tried to push me away.

"Sarah, this doesn't involve you-," I cut him off,

"Bullshit Brian, stop picking on him or I will tell Stella all about you and that college girl." I didn't want this to happen on the first day of senior year.

Brian and his buddies scatter at his word, but not without the hardest of glares; I expected nothing less from Mr. McCalister. It had been less than a second, but Jonathan was already running from the scene.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked, "I don't need pity from anyone," he replies, looking back at me with disdain, "Especially from you." Without another word he quickly paces away. And this seems to be what always happens when people try to talk to Jonathan.

"I wished for a thank you, but your manly embarrassment is good enough!"

Later that day at lunch

"I heard that you saved Crane from a serious beat up." My best-friend Megan had pointed out.

"I was tired of them getting their way." I brushed it off, but she wouldn't get over it.

"Oh, you didn't do it because you cared about Crane right?" This made me spit up some of my food. Where was this coming from.

"God no," I said in a hurry. "I was just tired of Brian's bad guy crap." She snorted in response.

"No matter how hard I try, Jonathan Crane would never be my friend."

The rest of the day went in a blur with me just thinking about all the years I had known Jonathan. We had gone to the same school for years, but I had never approached him or helped him. That's horrible of me, might I add. (IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE) I kind of regret never trying to be friends with him; maybe if I had approached him earlier he would be different

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September 12th , 2014

Another friendship mission failed. This journal is becoming the never ending struggle of trying to be Jonathan Crane's friend.

Today was the last day of the first week of school, (such a mouthful) and I had decided earlier yesterday that I would be friends with Crane. That doesn't mean he wants to be friends with me, but I'm still trying. The plan was to confront him at lunch where he couldn't run from me, or so I thought.

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I slid into a chair at his table. He was bound to notice my presence. Just as I had started unpacking my lunch, I heard a throat clear.

"Excuse me, but you're sitting at my table. I wouldn't want you to gather a bad reputation, so run along," He said all of that with the straightest face. Who was he to think that I would leave so easily?

"I'm Sarah, it's nice to meet you." He didn't shake my outstretched hand, so I didn't leave.

"What do you want?" He deadpanned, "I'll never help you with your classwork, if that's what you want." Oh, poor soul; he had no idea of my heavenly good intentions.

"I wanted to get to know you," This got no reply from him, "considering I've never talked to you in the 17-18 years we have known each other." He didn't look convinced. I expected him to walk away, but he just sat in his chair. Ok, so this is how it's going to be? Well ill be darned if him giving me the cold shoulder would run me off.

"So, I'm Sarah. What do you want to do after this hell-hole?" He pulled a book out of his bag and refused to answer me.

"Psychology," I read off his book, "That's a cool field. The human brain. You must be very smart, considering you like that."

"Anyone could alter the human brain; they use monkeys in test trials."

"Oh, they also study monkeys in Anthropology, there's an entire field based on it..." I trail off.

He grabbed his food and started to walk away. Backfire, make a move Sarah.

"Hey," I shouted at him as he walked away, "I was talking to you!" I didn't notice that he had stopped moving, so I ran right into him.

"I have no desire being friends with you Sarah Polk." I had been surprised that he knew my last name, which distracted me so I didn't chase after him. He disappeared down the 10th grade hallway.

"That was close, Sar." Megan had appeared out of nowhere. "You almost had his affections. I've never thought of a girl trying so hard to be friends with someone who doesn't want any."

"What happened to the 'you stop him if he runs away' plan?" I asked, almost ready to blow with anger.

"You're like the only one who isn't afraid of weirdo Crane," She started to retreat as well, "So if you want him to be your friend, give it YOUR best shot. I'm just not that into knowing him."

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A/N: So thats the first Chapter! I'm excited that I'm actually going to be working on this because it's been a long time coming. This idea has been stuck in my head probably for years; the rough draft for this first chapter was even written on my old computer years ago, back when the Nolanverse Batman movies were popular stories. And I also started this in High School and then started working on it again at the beginning of freshman year of college. This means I have different views from what I once had. My opening note was the first thing I wrote for this story when I was feeling it the most, and I think I will never be able to write something like that ever again.


	2. Chapter 2: Well this is going great

September 13th, 2014

So, the second day of the "Mission to be Friends with Crane", or MTBFC (for short), was kind of a success. My immediate plan was to catch him off guard. And it kind of worked.

Since I had seen Crane reading a textbook on his major Psychology, I decided to check out the same book. And from my foresight from my college Psych class (and the book), I also decided to bombard him with things from said book. I thought maybe that this would interest him enough to talk to me.

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I approached Jonathan from behind, while he was in the library. I slowly made my way over to the conference room he booked to be alone. And I almost got away with it, but right when I was about to close the door behind me he said,

"Sarah, what are you doing?" FUCK fuckity fuck. Abort mission; run away.

I tried to act suave, and sat down with confidence, even though I was freaking out on the inside.

"Yah know, just seeing what you were doing, brah." What the fuck was that Sarah? Are you even trying to be make good conversation.

He gave me a look of utter annoyance; and said nothing for a good few minutes. He just continued to read his textbook. Then he answered,

"Well, you've seen me; you can go tell who ever dared you to do this, that it's done, alright."

He made a face that look kind of like he wanted to kill me. WTF. Who does he think I am? I wouldn't do that. (Well maybe to someone like a jock, but not to him).

"No, really, I came here to see what you were doing. But I also wanted ask you some more questions about your major".

He still looked pissed, but kind of less pissed in a way. He didn't say anything to stop me, so I continued,

"What field of Psychology do you want to work in? Since my major is Anthropology, we probably have overlapping fields."

He stayed quiet. So long that I thought the conversation was over, but when I was about to get up and give up he replied,

"Neuroscience or biological psychology."

I turned around when he said that. I made a fist pump that I slightly pumped into the air. I was slowly making my way into the life of Crane.

"Oh, I've always found the brain pretty cool," I said while trying to act confident, "but technically we would still have the same environment to work in."

I don't say anything else. I want him to ask me what my specific major is. I thought, 'please let him respond'.

Nothing.

"I know that you like Forensics, Sarah."

YO. HOW DID HE KNOW THAT. WHY DOES THIS KID KNOW MORE ABOUT ME, THAN I DO HIM.

"Well, yeah, I really like the idea of forensic anthropology," he looked up after I ended my statement abruptly, "but lately I've been more into Cultural Anthropology."

Again, he made no intention of responding. Well, damn. Somehow the conversation had been only about me.

"Maybe, we could talk some time, maybe more into detail abou—" He interrupted me mid sentence.

"Sarah, remember to shut the door on the way out."

And with that, he was gone. I was so close to another topic, but I did get somewhere with him. He knows my major and I his, but I didn't even get to use what I had studied. Well there is always next time...

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September 14th, 2014

So the third day of becoming close to Crane, was not really productive. I had been very busy studying for a first test. Which, might I add, was very rude to have on the 3rd day of school. As I was saying, I didn't really try to talk to Crane, but yet somehow, we still ended up meeting.

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"Today, you guys will be taking a quick personality test, to see what the best teaching strategy for all of you and for future partners," 

God it was so boring. Nobody wanted to take the test. He proceeded to handout the test with scantrons.

"Ok, you guys can begin." And with that, the test took me about 10 minutes. Seemed to be the same amount for Jonathan, too. I seem to keep noticing him more and more. I've noticed that he likes to either stare of into the middle distance, read a book, or (in this classes case) make mean glances at Brian. I could understand his dislike of the guy, because Brian can literally be the spawn of Satan. However, there's just something about the way that Crane stares at him in hatred that makes me think he wants him dead. But maybe I'm reading too much into this situation.

30 minutes later

"Ok, I've scanned your tests. Today we're also going to assign partners for the semester. This means that, from your answers I will partner you with someone similar."

He started to go through the role, and eventually got to Jonathans name. I sat very still because Megan had already been taken; so I was running out of good options. Who the hell did he think would be the best for me? Definitely not Brian, I probably got something that said I was introverted, he definitely isn't.

"Jonathan Crane, you're partnered with..." he took a pause to look at the role, then seemed to be surprised, "Sarah Polk?"

Well, that's surprising! I mean I didn't even try. Jonathan seemed to be pissed off about this sudden partnership. But the plan was going way better than expected.

After the roles were given, Mr. Leigh said, "Ok, meet up with your partners, and make your first dialogue. Try to come up with a conversation in Spanish and tell it to each other. Get going, idiots."

And with that, we were released. Everyone moved to their partners, and I did too. However, Jonathan just expected me to approach him.

"So what's up dude. We meet again." Aw, he didn't look thrilled.

He didn't bother to look up, just kept looking at his damn textbook. I slammed my book bag down beside his desk and pulled another desk near him.

"What do you want our dialogue to be about? I mean we could talk about a lot of things: High school, classes, college-" He cut me off.

"Sarah, let me just cut to the chase; you keep trying to talk to me. I do not know why, because you really have nothing to gain. And if I see know future gain from this, you really just have to be trying to mess with me."

"Crane, all I want is to get to know you. I mean that."

"Bullshit, why would you want to get to know me?"

"I mean," I struggled with the right words to say. One wrong word and this talk of friendship would be over, "I've known you for what? Over 10 years, and we've never spoke? I'm sorry that I'm curious about what you are like."

This seemed to shut him up; it was the perfect mix of bluntness and niceness. (SCORE).

"This is our senior year, and I don't want to have any regrets. And that means getting to know you, Jonathan Crane."

And then it seems like my speech had done nothing, because after I was done, he was already giving me death glares.

"We don't know each other, because we have nothing in common, Polk."

"Ah, see you're getting it; we're already calling each other by our last names!" I elbowed him.

"Also," I said while I made a motion for my notebook, "You don't know yet, if we don't have anything in common." He seemed to grimace even more.

"In fact, I know something we do have in common," He seemed to motion his hand to say, 'go on with it', "We're both Humanities majors."

He let out a huge sigh, "Polk, I may be majoring in Psychology, but it is more of a science major than a humanities major."

"I mean, maybe, but look at the nice conversation we're having! See we can be friends."

He reached for his laptop, and started to boot it up.

"I'm not going to have this conversation anymore. We are not friends, nor will we ever be friends. Maybe acquaintances, for this time being. I do want an A in this class. So just remember that Polk."

"Yeah I got it." And with that, I had a very boring class time planning a Dialogue with Jonathan Crane and we we're acquaintances.

A/N: Thinking about uploading every week or two. I have some chapters already ready and waiting so we'll see!


	3. Chapter 3: Weekends are Awkward

September 15th, 2014

It was Friday Bitches. Every Senior, in my high school (but really probably everywhere in America) was saying 'It's my last first week of high school'; blah, blah, blah. I don't know why they were focused on that? Just try an enjoy it while it lasts. Why do we have to acknowledge this is the end?

Sorry I got a little existential there.

As I was saying, it was Friday today, and in all but a week, I had managed to become acquaintances with Crane. Score: 1-Polk and 0- Crane.

So, the next part of the plan, was to get closer. And hopefully we would, because we are partners in the stupid Spanish dialogue.

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"So today's class will be again focused on your dialogue," said Mr. Leigh, the class let out an audible moan, "I've decided that it will be due on Tuesday, so some of you may have to meet with your partners over the weekend. So use this time to get with your partners ASAP. You are released."

'Perfect, another way to get to know Crane.' I sauntered over to him, and he knew something was up.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked, then looked like he regretted it. Ah, you better dude.

"So," I slid into the seat beside him, "Whose house are we going to work at." He groaned.

'Not mine, Polk." He had no choice otherwise. I figured he would choose my house, but at least we would get to know each other. Or maybe kill each other, from the looks of it.

"Ok, we can work on it at my house. Do you have a car, or do you need me to pick you up? Could save some gas." I think he started to realize we were making plans, as ACQUAINTANCES. Jeez this was going better and better by the minute.

"No, I've got a truck, I'll drive to your house if you give me an address and time."

"Well, ok I sa-" He cut me off,

"And it can't be too late, I have to take care of my grandma and she doesn't like me to be out too late." Ahhhhhhhh. So he lives with his Grandmother. More information to add to my database (which is my mind).

"Ok, you can come over at like 1pm on Saturday? Is that ok with you? We would be done by like 5pm?" 'Just say yes, you idiot' I thought.

"Fine," was all he said. He expected us to work on the dialogue now, but he forgot a key factor in getting to my house.

"So, what's your number?" I casually spoke. This surprised him. Does Jonathan Crane actually have a phone?

"Why does it seem that you are way too happy about this?" He said quizzically.

"I'm not; I just need your number if we're gonna be working together."

He didn't seem convinced. Ok that's a backfire in my plan.

"Sorry to tell you this, but I don't have a cell phone, Polk."

'WTF. What teenager doesn't have a cell phone?' Before I could say something, he seemed to read my mind and cut in,

"My grandma thinks it's an unnecessary bill, so I just never got one." I start to nod, "I don't know why I'm even telling you this; just write down your address and I'll find it."

I just nod; there's no fighting with Crane, but at least he's been talking to me. He could just ignore me and do the whole project by himself, but he's not! I mean I would never let him do this project by himself anyways, I'm also very controlling.

"Ok, it's..."

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September 16th 2014

I had to get up early for my dialogue with Crane, well, early as in 10 am. Yo, Saturdays are my sleep days, and this thing messed with it. All I got to say is that today was weird. Maybe I'm on the way to getting closer to Jonathan...

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-12:45 PM-

"Where the crap is that idiot?" I said as I looked out my front window. "I thought he would be the type of person to get here early."

I decided to stop looking out the window, like a weirdo. I'm wasn't that excited to see Crane.

-1:30 PM-

And he still was a no show. I mean he's not the type to get a bad grade, then why would he be this late?

Bad things flashed in my mind.

"Did he get lost? I mean my neighborhood isn't that big. And I gave him the right address. So why is he late?" Nothing made sense. 'I hope he didn't get into a wreck...'

-2:01 PM-

I had decided to just watch Netflix; there was no way Crane was showing, I mean it had been an hour. It was obvious he was blowing me off. I knew there was a reason to him being so nonchalant yesterday.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

SHIT. He actually came! I raced down to my front door, and stopped momentarily in front of it. He couldn't know that I was running to the door; I was totally not excited that Jonathan Crane was here.

I opened the door, and saw a soaked Crane.

"What happened?" He didn't look happy; I mean I wouldn't be, if I was him.

"My car broke down, and I had to walk here." He shoved past me.

"I mean come on in," I said sarcastically. I closed my door and raced towards him.

"I'll go get some towels," I pointed towards my couch and thought against it. "Just stand here while I go get them."

"Huh." Was all he replied.

I ran to my bathroom. Maybe I could also find some clothes for him, too? I don't have a brother, so an oversized sweatshirt, with My Neighbor Tototoro on it, and some basketball shorts would have to do. Megan would never believe this.

I return to my living room, while he seemed to be looking at an old picture of me. I made a loud stomp, before I entered so he would have time to stop.

He put the picture back very quickly.

"So, I got some towels, but I also got some clothes if you want to change into something dry. If you give me your wet clothes, I'll go put them in the dryer." He just nodded, and I handed him the clothes and towels.

"The bathroom is down that hall, and is the second door on the right." He grunted and headed in that direction. A simple 'thank you' would be nice, but I was quickly learning that Crane didn't seem to have any politeness in his body.

Well, the day had turned out fantastic. 'Hopefully,' I thought, 'we can get through this dialogue.'

It took Crane almost 10 minutes to change, for a minute I had thought he got lost.

"Here." He placed his wet clothes in my hands. 'Thanks for the warning.'

"I'll be right back." And with that I left a slightly wet Jonathan Crane (who was wearing my clothes) in my living room.

I ran downstairs; maybe I could get his clothes done quickly, because my clothes on him was very distracting. 'I'll have to ask him if he knows what 'My Neighbor Tototro' is.'

While I was walking back upstairs, I heard a door open. Wtf was Crane doing?

By the time I got back up the stairs, he wasn't in the living room anymore.

"Where did he go?" Suddenly, my front door opened and he walked in. I gave him a questioning look, and he said,

"I went to get my stuff out of my car, but then I remembered it's 3 miles away." And then preceded to walk further back into my house. I followed him, and turned out he had figured out where my room was.

He plopped into one of my seats, and seemed to make himself at home.

"Comfortable?" I said sarcastically. He did his famous grunt.

"We need to do this quickly, Polk." I sighed. Why does he always seem to make assumptions about me, can I not make conversation?

"Ok, what do you want the next thing to be about..."

-5PM-

We had gotten a lot done, but it was 5 and Jonathan refused to leave until we were done writing the thing. I mean after that, we would still have to practice it. But wouldn't he have to get home soon?

"Do you need to go home?" I said after a 10 minutes had passed. He didn't bother looking up.

"No, we just need to get this done." I know his car broke down, but shouldn't he have someone he could call to help him?

"Ok," I didn't know what to say, he had been doing the last few steps. Didn't really involve me that much. Ok maybe it's my chance to make light conversation...

"So, since your car broke down... do I need to drive you home? Or we could call a tow truck, my grandpa runs a business for it. I could get him to do it for free." But, he wouldn't reply to me. I'd already gotten his freshly dried clothes back to him almost 30 minutes ago, and he still wouldn't budge.

I decided the best move was to just wait a bit longer; from what I've learned over the past few days of getting to know Crane, is that he likes to take charge. In everything. I usually help out an equal or greater amount on school projects, but this boy literally won't let me touch a thing. I've given suggestions and critiques, but I have no idea if he's listened at all, because I have yet to read the script fully.

However, because of the long and awkward silences I have had time to stare at Crane without him noticing, and I've noticed some things:

1.) He's kind of really skinny, like he hasn't been fed in days. Which may be because he is super tall and lanky, but I kind of think he needs some meat on his bones. (That was super weird to write.)

2.) He has a disdain for family items and portraits. (?)

3.) He can write super fast and looks super fluent in Spanish. I mean I knew he was smart, but he also knows many languages, jeez.

4.) He likes organization and is borderline OCD with it. He brought out his backpack at the beginning and I saw how he had all of his pencils and erasers set up in a neat container. He laid out everything on a desk in my room, and fiddled with it until he was happy. At one point I went the bathroom, but when I came back I discovered that he had started to organize my books into piles. He had fixed everything that was cluttered on the desk. He did this so he could wait for me, even though I don't think he's listening to me at all.

5.) He's handsome in a brooding sort of way...

To be continued...

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you want, or tell me what you liked. TBH I don't think this story is going to be the longest, mainly because I'm trying to write almost 2,000 words a chapter (which is very long for me). I foresee this story being 15-20 chapters! Things are going to get wild soon, so get ready for that!


	4. Chapter 4: Unexpected

September 16th 2014

-Continued-

LAST TIME on Unsaid and Forgotten:

However, because of the long and awkward silences I have had time to stare at Crane without him noticing, and I've kind of picked up on some things:

1.) He's kind of really skinny, like he hasn't been fed in days. Which may be because he is super tall and lanky, but I kind of think he needs some meat on his bones. (That was super weird to write.)

2.) He has a disdain for family items and portraits. (?)

3.) He can write super fast and looks super fluent in Spanish. I mean I knew he was smart, but he also knows many languages, jeez.

4.) He likes organization and is borderline OCD with it. He brought out his backpack at the beginning and I saw how he had all of his pencils and erasers set up in a neat container. He laid out everything on a desk in my room, and fiddled with it until he was happy. At one point I went the bathroom, but when I came back I discovered that he had started to organize my books into piles and fixed everything that was on cluttered. He did this so he could wait for me, even though I don't think he's listening to me at all.

5.) He's handsome in a brooding sort of way...

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"What are you staring at Polk?" Crane seemed to bring me out of my daze. Oh, I was lost in debilitating middle distance thought.

"Nothing," I said very quickly, breaking out of my thoughts, "I was just thinking about something. Kpop! You ever heard of kpop? Korean Music? I was just thinking about an album thats-"

"Well, it would be nice if you would actually help with this dialogue some more. Instead of just stare at your phone like a zombie." And after those words came out his mouth, I decided I might not become friends with this little asshole. And immediately kicked him out, determined to just let him really do the project by his all-mighty self.

The end.

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I'm kidding; his comment pissed me the hell off, but I already knew Crane can be an asshole.

-7 PM-

"Polk," I wake up suddenly to Crane's voice. I look up from my chair and see him staring at me.I look around for the time on my desk alarm clock.

"Jesus Crane, it's like 7 PM!? Don't you need to get home." By the time I end my sentence, he had already looked down at his notebook. After a while, he still didn't answer me.

"You don't have anyone that can come get you, do you?" He still didn't answer me, but his silence told me everything. I never thought Crane could be this vulnerable, and I doubt he wanted me to see this side of him. I stand up quickly, because I think maybe he might get into trouble if I don't get him home quickly.

"Get the hell up. I'll drive you home, Crane."

"No, I can go to a towing company, and they can tow my car home." But he said it with literally no confidence, different than what the normal Crane would. Usually he would add his on little sarcastic voice to it, but really mean it. However, I can tell he probably had no idea what to do. I was not buying his excuse. Knowing what I know now, he would probably end up just walking home and leave his car for the night. If I let that happen, any number of dicks from our school could take advantage of the situation and attack him. OR maybe I'm just being paranoid. But what the hell, why not?

"Yeah bullshit Crane; get your stuff, we're leaving in 10."

He was very pissed off at me, because of my forceful demand. OK, but its his fault for not telling me sooner that he had no ride and no one to come pick him up. As we're walking out my door, I ask, "How far away is your house?"

And he replied, "Not that far, I guess."

-8:10 PM-

WELL BITCH, LET ME TELL YOU THAT 'not that far' IS VERY FAR.

In actuality, Crane lived over 40 minutes away from my house; almost on the edge of town. But not only that, it also happened to be in the slummier part of town. The houses were run down, and it looked like not that many people lived along his road, except maybe some homeless people.

"I'm near your house, right Crane?" All he did for an answer was grunt. I looked head, and made sure I didn't crash into anything, because it had started to heavily rain again 20 minutes into driving. The funny thing was that Crane wouldn't give me his address, and I was just going off of his directions from street signs. Was I being led to my certain death?

Hell no; I would literally pepper spray this little bitch before he could do anything to me, so that was the least of my worries...

However, getting lost on my way pack was freaking me out. We kept making so many twists and turns that I hoped I could remember my way back, or if worst comes to worst, call my mother for help. Because your girl is out of data for the month, and can not use her JPS least she get killed by her mother for overages.

Suddenly he yelled, "Stop here Polk!" And I slammed on my brakes, which made me instinctively reach over to hold him in place. It was something my mother would always do. And after I stopped, I awkwardly took my hand away. Jeez I just did such a parent thing; am I becoming a guardian for Crane? Because I keep doing things for him that a guardian would do. Also with no appreciation, but you know teenagers are teenagers.

He got out of the car pretty fast, so I didn't have time to say goodnight. He didn't even say thank you or anything? However, I noticed through the rain that he was walking farther away from where I parked. He didn't actually want me to see his house, I guess.

Well now I'm interested?

So I let him walk a bit ahead of me, and then turn off my lights to follow him. As I'm writing this, I now realize this is the most stalkier-ly thing I have ever done, but a part of me actually wanted to see him get home safely. You know the caring mother side, that was a pain in my ass.

So I follow him probably for at least 10 minutes, and he just gets further and further into the creepy part of town. Until finally, I see him approach a house, like he's going to go inside. Once he kind of got closer to the house, the front lights flickered on, but not because of a sensor. No, once he got on the front porch, an elderly lady ran out of the house screaming bloody murder. She looked absolutely possessed.

"Where the hell have you been boy?" She screamed in his face. He says something really quietly, with his head down. Jonathan is much less confident in front of this crazy lady.

"Working on a project, " he said, "Yeah I can tell when you're lying to me. Your never out this late, what bitch have you started seeing?" He doesn't answer her and resigns himself to just walk inside. But she stepped in front of him. Then I see her take her long cane and beat him from behind. He crumbled a little, but just stood there stoic until she's done with it. It looked like she's done this before, because he gave off no emotion or pain.

"You better have not gotten a young whore pregnant. You're turning out like your father more and more each day!" He says nothing and she continues, "GET IN THE HOUSE; YOU HAVE TO CLEAN THE HOUSE UNTIL YOU DIE TOMORROW FOR THIS INSOLENCE." And without another word he retreated into the house and she followed shortly after. But not before she looked around, like she knew I heard her entire abusive rant.

I didn't wait for her to see me, and sped drove home. It's like my brain went on autopilot, because the next thing I know, I'm back home. I don't know what I witnessed today, but clearly there is more to rude and OCD Jonathan Crane; more than meets the eye. And I was determined to find it out, but also potentially help fix it.

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September 18th 2014

The weekend went by fast, too fast in fact. I had been thinking all that time, of what I had seen. It felt almost wrong last time when I wrote my journal entry. I fear today's may be unexpectedly short, compared to last time's. I wanted to approach Crane, because of what I had seen, but I feared that would worsen things between us. He would distance us once again, and he would graduate at the end of the year, so the plan would never get done. I didn't want this to happen, so I had decided to just keep what I had saw in the back of my mind. And maybe even try harder to be a good friend for Jonathan Crane.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I walk through the halls with my friends, hoping to see Crane. But he was absent from all directions; hopefully he was not avoiding me,

or worse...

"So Sarah," My friend Lilly started, "You can't get out of going to Prom this year, like every other year!" Everyone, George (Lilly's Boyfriend) and Mary my other friend, agreed around us.

"Yeah, It's senior year and prom is something you will remember forever!" Megan said.

"Guys," I sighed, "You know that I hate the idea of Prom!" Everyone around me groaned.

"Just hear me out!" They stayed quiet by the lockers, so I assumed they were trying to.

"Prom is one night every year, that girls/ guys spend boat loads of money on just to remember in the future! Like how is prom going to be that exciting when we're 30? It's not! It doesn't truly represent our time in high school; high school is hell. It's just a waste of money and time!" I finished and huffed.

Megan seemed to be the most peeved at my comment and said, "Sarah, prom is a memory that will last a lifetime! I want to remember all of us hanging out, because if we don't end up hanging out after high school I'll atleast have prom!" She kind of had a point there...

"Also," she continued, "We'll go bowling after in our dresses, and it'll be super awkward and fun!" Lilly and the others cheered. I mean she had made some valid points, but still... Prom seemed so dull and over hyped to me.

"I'm sorry guys," I sighed. "I don't think I can do prom, even this year. For one, I don''t have a date. And all of you guys probably will. Two, you guys know how I am with dating... and socializing period." They didn't respond. Megan just looked disappointed with me.

"Sarah, If you can't get over your socializing problem for one of the most special times in our lives," I grimaced when Lilly said that, "then I don't know if we can socialize with you either. Period." Lilly finished, and started to walk away. Megan gave me a look of pity, a girl I had been friends with since Middle School, and followed after her with the others.

I was left alone in front of my locker, not knowing if I should've stopped them or not. I don't remember how long I had been standing there, but the next thing I knew, the warning bell for classes had rung. When I went to get stuff out of my bag and put it into my locker, I noticed a note in my bag. Someone had slipped it into the front pocket.

It read:

"Polk,

Meet me in the library tomorrow during 2nd lunch [which meant we shared lunch periods] so we can practice the dialogue speech for Spanish. I won't be late this time.

-Crane."

So Jonathan hadn't been avoiding me after all?

...


	5. Chapter 5: You ever thought about fear?

A/N: hey guys! Thanks to everyone who has been reading my story! Like I've said, I'm trying to post every week! Usually every Friday, but this might change this week because my midterms are coming up/ some are already about to happen. So there might start to be infrequent updates but that just means I'm either busy with school or trying to write more than one chapter in advance so I can upload regularly! Thanks guys! Thanks Rosalie for your positive words!

September 19th, 2014

The next day, I didn't know what to expect. I had just basically become ostracized by my friends. It's not like I have all of the friends. I had a small nit of people that I was really close to, and I lost them because of what? Not wanting to go to prom! The thing is, Crane noticed. He heard it all, and I should've known. I didn't really notice him because I was basically stressed/ freaking out in my mind. I wasn't noticing anything; I imagine I looked zoned out. But Crane seemed to care for once...

I felt like a zombie. I got to school technically early on habit, because I would usually meet up with Megan and Lilly in the common area. But that didn't happen today.

The plan was still in my mind, but kind if on the back burner. I didn't know how I would fix things with my friends (if that's what I should even call them). I mean really who de-friends someone because of them not wanting to go to prom?

As I walked to my locker, I felt like someone was watching me. I looked around, but everyone was just talking at their lockers, not paying attention. I knew my high school isn't the movie kind where I would become ostracized from everyone. Remember I am middle popular, and that's how its going to stay.

"Sarah!" Brian said out of nowhere, and it scared me and made me drop my books.

I sighed, "Hey dip-shit," I tried to go for my stuff on the floor, but Brian picked them up before I could get them. This was going to be great; every conversation I have with him, I immediately want to end it.

"I hear you've been hanging out with Crane," He didn't make a move to give me my stuff; just keep them in his arms and almost started to go through them. I looked behind him, to try and see where his goons were, but they were no where to be found. Which is odd for Brian?

"Yeah," I said, and then made a move to try and grab my books. But he just yanked them out of my reach. What the heck? Well, I kicked his shins and he dropped the books.  
"Fuck!" He screamed. Everyone was paying attention now. I grabbed the books quickly and tried to run away from him, but he grabbed my arm.

"Fuck," He was still in pain but seemed to get out, "You better stop hanging out with Crane or your reputation will go down the drain, bitch."

I didn't look back, because I couldn't believe that I or Brian had actually done that... I speed walked the shit out of there and there was no someone could stop me; it's like subconscious took ahold of me, because I didn't remember getting to my first period. This day started out great.

2nd Lunch

I brought a lunch box to school, just because I didn't want to go in the cafeteria and get food. When I walked into the library, it was almost empty. However, its not uncommon for someone to eat their food in the library; their might be a rule of no food, but if Ms. Hannon (the librarian) likes you, then you could eat to your hearts content. I would like to think that I am one of those people, but I am actually probably not. Even though I am an active reader, I just don't go into our school library a lot.

So that meant that Crane was somehow friends with Ms. Hannon, which didn't seem impossible because he always has a book with him. But when did he become a person that can have friends? The guy isn't the easiest to hold a conversation with. He'll get bored with you within five seconds and basically just retreat into himself. The only thing that I could think of is the fact that Ms. Hannon is very rude and confrontational.

I walked past the few people that were still in the library and still didn't see Crane. He must've been in the back. The back is where all the conference rooms were, so he must've definitely be on good terms with our fellow librarian. I soon saw that only one of the conference rooms had their light on, so he had to be in that one.

I made my way to the door, and opened it very slowly (incase I was walking in on someone that wasn't Crane). But it was him. Usually he won't say anything or acknowledge me, however today was different... Immediately when I walked in his head rose up from looking at some notes. And this part next part, is the weird part:

He actually smiled at me, and the said, "Sit down Sarah." WTH, what was going on with him today? Did he know that I knew about his problems with his grandmother? I would think that if he knew, he wouldn't still be talking to me; he would probably avoid me. But this was just odd for him; it was the first time I had actually seen him smile.

"Ok..." I said slowly, hesitantly. I made my way to the table, and sat down a couple of seats away from him. Today I just wasn't feeling being social, for many reasons. Especially when Crane was being creepily nice, like I'm not weird for questioning this right? I mean, maybe I am weird for recounting this in a journal, or I'm weird because I created this journal to talk about how I can become friends with some one? Yep, ok. I get it, I'm weird.

He looked at me for a span of time that felt awkward, and wasn't helping my mood towards him. (Or towards what was going on in general). But I decided to cut it short,

"So, do you want to practice now? We have a class next period so we better get this down." I then didn't look at him, and just went to get my laptop out of my bag so I could get the script out, that I had typed out the night before.

"Sure, let's do it Sarah."

And so we practiced with nothing particularly weird, until we we're done. Which we got through the script pretty quickly, it really only took like 40 minutes and we still had 20 something minutes left. I was expecting something weird, because I was on edge the entire time I was with Crane today. Its partly because of the way he's acting and then partly because I know about his problems with his grandmother. I expected for us to part ways, but he didn't tell me to leave. When I started to put up my stuff, Crane said,

"Hey, you haven't eaten yet right? Also, I know you've been wanting to know about my future career plans, so if you stay, I'll tell you Sarah." This also caught me off guard. Wow, he's being so open to me today and I do not trust this bitch for one second.

"Ok," I said and raised my hands up defensively, "What do you want Crane? You're being very open today, not that I don't want you to be, but it's kinda weird dude." I finished, and then he did another first for today... he started to laugh.

"Sarah," he choked out between his spontaneous laughter, "I thought you wanted to be friends with me?" Still kept laughing. I think he saw from my look, that I knew that wasn't the reason.

He wiped away tears at his eyes, "Fine," He calmed down, "I saw that you had a run in with Brian, and actually defended me." He didn't break eye contact, so I looked away. It was very odd for me, and it made me uncomfortable.

Then Crane spit out, "Also, I heard that your relationship with your friends hasn't been that good ever since you started to hang out with me. I don't know why you would do this, so I've decided to give you a shot." Wow. I was shocked, so much so that I literally couldn't make words come out of my mouth.

He took my lack of words as hesitancy, "I guess if you're not going to say anything; we don't have to be friends, which means you don't have to hear about my major." This dude knew exactly what I was going for, and to be honest I was interested.

"Ok Crane, you know I've been trying to be friends with you for almost a week and you fucking bet your ass I want to know about your major interests! So what do you want to start with, dude?" Almost all of my doubt in him faded away, because I was actually finally becoming close to Crane. The friendless enigma.

"Well, you know how you said that Psychology is the study of brains and how they work?" He asked me, kinda of like I was dumb.

"Dude, yeah of course I remember that? Are you trying to say my definition of psychology is wrong?" I asked incredulously, "because my semester studying it would dare to disagree." And after that I crossed my arms, kind of pissed at Crane for insulting my intelligence.

"No, Sarah, I'm saying that you just don't know my specific field of study in psychology." He basically added a long pause for dramatic effect. "Have you ever thought about identifying someones fear and then harnessing it? I have and it interests me to no end, because its a topic that no other psychologist wants to touch. It's very controversial, I don't really see why, because its an aspect that only the Scientists in the 1940s studied. Albeit illegally and inhumanely, but there are some things that we just need to know." Well, WTH Crane.

"Quick question, why the hell would you want to study fear? That's a very hard topic to get people to participate in Crane. Also, not gonna lie, it is kind of insane to think about actively studying someone that you've put them in a situation they would fear."

The funny part is the fact that I didn't walk away from him; normally I'm not good with dealing with the dark things he was talking about. Crane would go on to explain his ideas partly, but then we stopped talking about it and became more interested in other topics. I mean after that, we basically just talked and then left for class. For a just a moment, I forgot that my friends had abandoned me. I also forgot about my plan of becoming friends with Crane, because then I had saw us as friends already. Who knows if this is actually true or not, only time will tell.


	6. Chapter 6: Closer, but not really?

A/N: This is gonna be a short-ish chapter, so I apologize! But here you guys go anyways! Hopefully regular uploads will be back soon!

Another Friday completed, there's been significant gap in posts; mainly because I've just been focusing on some school work (Even though this journal is my own, I don't know why I should feel bad for not posting in this kind of stalker-y journal.)

Again this week was a weird, because I thought I had gotten close to Crane, finally. But I discovered that he didn't come to school at all, after we had talked. He only showed up Monday and Tuesday, and then never came back. I was worried, for many reasons. His grandmother was a royal bitch to him last time, so I can't imagine what she would've done for him not to come to school. I mean Crane is obsessed with good grades. What could make him not come?

I got to school hopeful on Wednesday, but ended up disappointed. Crane was usually at school before everyone, and would also sit in the cafeteria with a book. Crane didn't show up for school at all after Tuesday, and I was starting to think that something was wrong. Things were running through my head non-stop, 'What if something happened to him?' I would hope no one would kidnap him, he would probably annoy them to death.

What if his grandmother finally did something to extreme?' Ever since I saw how abuse she was, I worried about what Crane goes through everyday. I hope she didn't snap...

'What if Crane did something to extreme?' This is something that I didn't want to expect, because even though Crane is weird, I don't think he would be a person who would hurt someone.

I didn't want to think about all of this but it ended up happening anyway. Sadly, without Crane at school I had no one to talk too, which made me think about him even more. Brian had also started to be more off a butt to me, but what can you do...

I decided that I needed to go see what was up with him, and to make sure that he was ok.

September 23rd, 2014 (Saturday)

I went to his house relatively early in the day (1pm), mainly because I was super worried. (Which when the hell did I start to care this much about this dude?) I hoped that he would be home, the only problem was that I was hella scared that his grandmother was going to kill me. But I guess it was the price I had to pay for this.

I drove to his house, which was kind of hard to find since the last time I drove him home, it was raining super hard and at night time. It also didn't help that I he lived on the other side of town, and I didn't know the area very well. For like over an hour, I drove around his neighborhood, just trying to find his house. And after that long ass amount of time, I finally found his house. I pulled up and saw that his truck was still in the drive way, so he had to be at home. (Or maybe his car still isn't working, wow why didn't I think of that before I drove all the way to his house?) But there was no backing out of this mission, I had already drove to his house. I was already emotionally invested.

I walked rather quickly to his front door, but I couldn't really hear anything. I got to his door, and rung his door bell. Which didn't seem work, since I heard no sound come from it, so I had to settle with knocking on his door. I waited for a solid 3 minutes and started to get uncomfortable with my situation. So I got out my second plan: Leave while he still doesn't know he came to your house. The whole situation had increased my social anxiety by 150%, and so I decided to leave like a baby. I began to walk to my car, and that was when I heard the door open.

"Sarah?" Shit, he was actually home! I thought I avoided this awkward experience. I turned around slowly,

"Hey." I said and waved. He was smiling, which was becoming a regular thing for him now.

"I knew you could be annoying Polk, but I didn't think you were this nosey." He laughed.

"Yeah," I laughed awkwardly, "Sorry, I was worried when you didn't show up to school all week…" I trialed off for a second, "And I was also worried something had happened to you."

He sighed, "You're not very good at sneaking around Sarah Polk, I knew you followed me home. And I also know you saw my grandmother. I imagine that's also one of the reasons why you came here?" I nodded slowly, after he had finished.

"Well, come on, I'll get you some food." He then made a hand motion for me to come in, like I hadn't heard his comment. Wow, he took this a lot better than I thought he would, eerily so. I slowly walked to his front door again, not really believing what was happening. He let me in, and then immediately left me in his living room alone; I guess to go to the kitchen. The first thing that I noticed about Crane's house was that it was very tidy and clean. Which I don't know what I had expected, this was Crane we were talking about. He's already so OCD with homework, there's no question that he would also have the same mindset about his house. His grandmother probably had something to do with it.

I decided to be nosey, just because I had gotten this far already. Who would've ever thought Crane would willingly let me into his house? Certainly, not me. As I looked around, I started to notice that there weren't many pictures of Crane or in there weren't any in general. They all looked old, maybe his grandmother when she was a teenager. Why wouldn't she have pictures of her Crane's parents? You would think she would keep a picture of them to remember them by. This probably means they didn't have a good relationship, which would explain why Crane's grandmother is mean to him.

The house just looked bare, and not welcoming, like no one had contributed much to house over the years. Which is also very weird, considering Crane had lived here for years. To my knowledge he had never moved.

And the final thing that I noticed, was that his grandmother was nowhere to be found. A woman who didn't seem to have a car, or ever leave the house in general, was gone. Why would this be? I knew Crane would get in SUPER big trouble, if his grandmother found out I was in their house. But, he was acting like he had the greatest day of his life.

"Here, Polk!" said Crane, who came out of nowhere and scared the living shit out of me. He came from the kitchen while I wasn't looking and handed me a sandwich and a glass of water.

"Thanks," I quietly mumbled. And then he motioned towards the couch. I followed him and sat down.

"So… Why didn't you come to school Crane?" I asked him, very nonchalantly. (I mean, as nonchalantly as I could be after I made my way to his house uninvited…) I mean we were becoming friends, this was a friendly thing to do right? All he did was smile, yet again. A day that had continued surprises for me.

"I've been busy taking care of my grandmother," He explained. Which was an odd answer, because I would never willingly take care of a lady like her. I made a face, and he seemed to understand what I was trying to imply.

"I know what you think," He stated. I couldn't look him in the eye, so I just started to eat my food and stare off into the middle-distance. "My grandmother isn't the nicest woman, but she is still my grandmother, Polk." Wow, Crane actually has feelings and cares for someone? He continued,

"And she's been having a harder time lately, so I thought that I should at least take care of her in what could be the last moments of her life…" He concluded his speech by looking me in the eyes and smiled again. Wow, he's just so weird lately.

"Honestly Crane, I didn't know you had this kind of emotion in you!" I touched his shoulder in comfort, "If you like your grandmother, she'll pull round! You know how to fix lots of things, you can certainly help her!" He nodded after my words.

"You're completely right Sarah," He noticed that I was done with the sandwich, "Oh, here; let me take your plate to the kitchen." He then walked back to the kitchen rather hurriedly, I assumed because he was such a clean freak, so he didn't want dirty plates to be out. But during the short amount of time he was gone, I noticed that his basement door was slightly open. Not only that, but the light was on too. I got up to go see if I should close the door, and when I got close to it, I immediately smelled something off. It smelled like decaying flowers, something old… I couldn't place it, but it seemed familiar in a way, but not too familiar. Like I had only smelled it once before. I decided to get a closer look to figure out what the weird smell was...

-TO BE CONTINUED-


End file.
